In part 1 we talked about the the #1 reason why you’re NOT getting over your negative emotions AND how this is contributing to your health. If you missed it go here.
Your feelings (positive or negative) are a tool, a really excellent tool to help you better understand yourself.
They are like your own personal barometer to help you check in with your ‘in the moment’ state of weather. The goal should always be about better understanding and deepening the relationship with self, never denying even if it is (actually especially if it is) something unpleasant to feel. It is not wrong to have negative feelings. It is not wrong to express them.
I, like many people, never grew up learning how to manage my emotions.
They were just there. I had no idea of the power that could be harnessed when you learn how to allow yourself to feel everything in a healthy way. Every time you have an emotion you have an opportunity for connection or disconnection. When you choose to disconnect, you take yourself down a lonely path where you are way more likely to experience ill health. When you choose to connect, you are never alone. You feel loved and supported and as a result your physical health reflects how amazing you feel.
I used to struggle quite a bit with low self-worth.
It was something that I was always kind of either trying to work on because I was convinced there was something wrong with me or was trying to hide so that no one would know how shitty I really was. One day while I was trying to work on it I was going through this written exercise to better understand my emotions. It was incredibly enlightening because as I came to the end of the exercise I looked back over my work and I was astonished to discover that EVERY SINGLE TIME I had a negative emotion I was talking to myself in a horrible way.
I was definitely choosing to disconnect and was losing power every time I did it. I had myself 100% convinced that when I was experiencing a so-called bad emotion I was a bad person. Whether it was anger, sadness, guilt, depression, shame, etc. how I talked to myself was the same and all I really wanted in those moments was to hear that I loved and supported myself no matter what. I longed for that connection that I was denying myself.
Now when I feel those feelings instead of disconnecting by telling myself I’m bad, I choose to connect and give myself even more love. I am easily able to identify when I might be going down that self-loathing road, stop it, and offer myself reassurance instead.
Here are 2 simple tools to get you started on your path to connection:
1) Get Curious!
Every time you are triggered by a situation or an event and you react with negativity whether that’s words, a feeling, a thought, or all of the above take a step back and get curious about why you were triggered like that. What story are you telling yourself about what happened and the way you reacted?
Is it okay that you said what you said or that did you what you did OR are you even more upset with yourself? Taking a moment to notice your reactions sets you up to be the observer to your feelings. You no longer have to be controlled and swept away by whatever you are feeling because you are not part of your emotion. It is a thing out there that you can see and feel but it is not inherently YOU. You can allow your emotions to be expressed and honor yourself for having them without having to BE them. For those that like to write, journaling these questions is an excellent way to process everything that is going on for you.
2) Give yourself what you need!
When you are stressed or upset or sad or angry or any other unpleasant feeling, stop and take a second to ask yourself what you need to hear to feel better. If you had an unconditionally loving friend, or partner, or family member sitting across the table from you what would you want them to say to you to make you feel better? Then tell YOURSELF that! I guarantee if you take the time to do this you will feel better. You will be choosing connection and tapping back into your power.
Do you want to get started opening up these more hidden aspects of yourself so that you can truly live a life of freedom? So that you can come from a place of love, power, and connection that fosters your growth and expansion… I have a completely FREE report in the works that will help get you started on doing just that. Be sure to SIGN UP now so that you can be the first to be notified when it gets released!
Dr. Kim Gowetor
Naturopath Sherwood Park
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